God never leaves us, even when we point our anger His way or feel like we’re alone, He’s there. Annette experienced this on a searing summer day at Brookside’s Monday Night Bridge Service. Her life was a cycle of hopelessness, suffering, and loneliness until then.

She said, “I was just doing my time until I died.”

Much of the reason for her bleak outlook came from a period of homelessness and the challenges of raising three children, each born with disabilities. 

At 17, she had her first disabled child. Ten years later, she was pregnant again. She did everything right; taking care of herself for the baby. A friend was pregnant at the same time, but unlike Annette, put her child at risk by abusing drugs. Her friend’s baby was born healthy three days before hers. All appeared well for Annette’s second until the 2-week checkup revealed a malformed heart. Annette broke. She raged at God.

Years later, pregnant with her youngest daughter, Annette was terrified that something would go wrong. While the child was born physically healthy, she felt that something was different about her. When she reached school age her mental illness became clear. Annette was overwhelmed with anger. She cursed God thinking, you can’t love me. She felt abandoned. In her powerlessness, the only way she could get back at Him was to stop believing.

After fifteen years of unbelief, her remarkable transformation began. She and her daughter were living at Wheeler Mission. It was 95 ° in August. She was hungry, and in desperate need of help. A concerned friend, familiar with Brookside, understood her needs and suggested she go to their Reentry program. She resisted, but another voice said, “No, at least we’ll be able to eat.” Finally, Annette decided, “Let’s just go.”

 Anger consumed Annette’s life, “My anger was so loud, I couldn’t hear Him,” she said. But she resolved to get help. She feared she wouldn’t be welcome at Brookside, that they’d treat her coldly like the other places. Like she was just a number. She was wrong.

From the beginning, she felt love from Brookside’s people, not judged. She continued, “I walked in and saw the cross and was filled with joy. I thought, you’re not alone anymore, these are my people. And then I felt a very light touch on my shoulder, but no one was there. I heard Him say, “I am right here…I never left you.”

That night, she tried to rationalize her experience. But returning the next day, she felt the same presence encompassing her body and filling her heart. “This was real. I grew up with a God of wrath and nothing about Jesus’s love. He was waiting for me, led me to Brookside, and put the right people in place at the right time.”

Happily, she declared, “Finally, I was home.”

 This is the beginning of transformation and renewal. It’s what we want for everyone who comes to Brookside. Annette’s life changed for the better. She describes it as beginning to see the sunlight when everything was gloomy and cloudy. Now she feels the joy of being alive and being part of this family. Today Annette’s an active participant in the women’s Isaiah House and working her way towards homeownership. She’s a staff member at Brookside managing the Food Co-op. She feels strengthened by her troubled past; better equipped to walk others through their suffering.

By God’s grace, Brookside has created an environment of acceptance and relationship. What Brookside does isn’t a secret, it’s the gospel, the great commission, loving thy neighbor. Annette still has troubles, but she’s no longer alone. When we’re isolated and alone, bad things happen. But when we’re together, it’s not easy to separate us.

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